His lips are falling like heavy rain on mine—
I have always loved the sun to shine—
mercilessly brutalizing my senses
like a heartbeat, one moment to grasp
but another to let go—
like a giant adult seesaw
going high, going low,
talking to me once to see him on earth
then I gather my strength and look up
the sky all above, dreams fleeing like birds;
he appears also there blocking the sun—
I can’t hold on, I’ve lost my strength,
he quickly pulls me back up, looking down.

A casual kiss defined my own existence—
I love casually just like I dress,
and fashions keep changing every day like hearts;
I eat casually, not the things I love,
I look at a casual woman in the mirror
not the one I am; something beyond my skin
tells me to go, but I say no,
be cool, be casual, be what they love—
the love of man to pluck is stronger
than a rose’s belonging to earth.

His hands so softly touch
but I picture your hands;
his arms are all around me
but I picture your arms;
your nose on his face
and your own lips
can kiss me now, but his eyes
I look them in the eye—
unchangeable like the sun
on a stormy day are your eyes,
I feel I am kissing my own Frankenstein.

It’s time now to make love
I know it; all the books have said it—
the candles on the table half-burnt,
the wine refilled our glasses, many times,
the lights are dim, the music is soft—
cozy like a prison cell, hot like hell;
every sensation is stirred
why am I still here, interred?
like in a little sanctuary,
I know I shouldn’t run away,
but I am not going to hide,
not anymore; I do not love him,
I love you
to the depth of all the nonsense inside my bones,
I love you.